


The Avengers Matchmaking Service

by respoftw



Series: Tumblr Prompts - Hawksilver edition [32]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-07
Updated: 2015-06-07
Packaged: 2018-04-03 07:45:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4092784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/respoftw/pseuds/respoftw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jesus, he never thought being a leader would mean getting his teammates laid.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Avengers Matchmaking Service

**Author's Note:**

  * For [67policebox](https://archiveofourown.org/users/67policebox/gifts).



> 67policebox said:  
> Wanda suspects Pietro likes Clint so she looks in his mind and she's right so she gets the help of the avengers and sets them up sorry if that was confusing haha :p
> 
> This is a similar theme to another of my [fics](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3845290) but hopefully I've made it different enough that no-one will mind!

“Where are Clint and my brother?” Wanda asks as she glances around the table.

 

Steve at least has the decency to blush as he explains that they hadn't been invited to this meeting because the meeting was actually called to discuss Clint and Pietro's ability to work together. Under the twin glares of Wanda and Natasha he starts to stammer. “I'm not saying we're going to let either of them go! I just feel that we need to address the issue that they seem to hate each other. I don't want it getting to the point that it affects our missions.”

 

Sam scoffs at Steve's innocence. “Steve, my man? I think you've got it the wrong way around. Those two definitely don't hate each other.” Rhodey nods along in agreement.

 

Steve blinks in confusion. “But they keep pushing each other to the edge until one of them snaps, they argue constantly. How is that not hate?” He definitely doesn't look like he appreciates the sniggers from the rest of the team at his apparent obliviousness.

 

Wanda takes pity on him and explains. “My brother is not very experienced in showing his regard for people. I can confirm that he very much does not hate Clint.”

 

“Wait”, Steve needs to be sure that he's on the right page here, “are you saying that Pietro has a thing for Clint? An attraction like thing?”

 

“Believe me, if you had seen what Pietro daydreams about when he thinks no-one is paying attention then you would not be doubting me.” Wanda shudders as she thinks back to some of the explicit images that drift from Pietro's mind into her on occasion. She doesn't mean to look into her brothers mind, it's just that they're so close – it sometimes feels like just an extension of her own mind making it much harder to control her powers from drifting towards him. She always shuts them out as soon as they creep in but certain images can't help but stick in the mind...

 

“Does Clint feel the same way?”

 

Wanda shakes her head abruptly. “I do not know. I would never look into his mind like that, I promised him.”

 

Natasha smiles softly at the youngest Avenger, pleased with her consideration of Clint's feelings. Her smile turns wicked as she assures them that Clint definitely feels the same way. “I've caught him staring at Pietro's ass forty-seven times in the past week alone. He feels the same way.”

 

Steve looks sucker-punched. How could he have missed this? He's supposed to be the leader, to know everything that's going on with his team. “Was I the only one who didn't figure this out?” he turns imploring eyes to Vision, the Avenger has stayed quiet during their exchange. Surely the robot hadn't known before him?

 

Vision sounds apologetic as he shatters Steve's hopes. “I'm afraid that I too was aware of their regard for one another. Their elevated heart rates when in close quarters combined with mirroring poses and dilated pupils were quite clear.”

 

Crap. Well, he thinks, he may have been the last to realise but he's damn sure that he's going to be the one to put an end to this ridiculous mating dance they've got going on before it distracts them on mission. Jesus, he never thought being a leader would mean getting his teammates laid.

 

“OK, new agenda for today. How do we get them together?”

 

The suggestions range from the idiotic (“No, Sam, we will not lock them in a freezer until they huddle together for warmth and realise their feelings for each other. What the hell have you been reading?”) to the convoluted (“Rhodey, I don't care if you have contacts in the Immigration department. We're not going to force them into a Green Card marriage that will result in the slow build realisation that they love each other. What the hell have _you_ been reading?”).

 

Vision helpfully lists out the plot of every romantic comedy released in the past ten years as discussion points and after two hours of this Steve is about ready to just handcuff them together until they work it out themselves.

 

They eventually settle on the tried and tested method of setting people up that's used the world over. A blind date.

 

Pietro will think he's having dinner with Wanda. Clint will think he's meeting Natasha. They'll get to the fancy restaurant and, neither men having the ability to turn down free food, will have a nice romantic meal and the rest will be history.

 

It goes perfectly to plan. Wanda manages to force Pietro into a nice suit, playing on her brothers emotions by sighing about how they never got the chance to dress up and go somewhere nice growing up. Clint is also dressed to the nines, Natasha going with the more direct method of glaring him into submission.

 

Vision hacks into the restaurant's security cameras so the team can watch the two men react when they realise that they've been set up.

 

After confirming that there was no violence or commotion, they all let out a proud sigh of relief as the two men sit down in a civilised manner and start what looks like a fairly pleasant date.

 

Score one for the Avengers matchmaking service, Steve thinks as he sets his sights on Wanda and Vision.

 

*

 

_Meanwhile, in the restaurant._

 

Pietro whistles low and lewd as he sees Clint in his light grey suit. “Looking good, Barton. I was expecting Wanda but this is much better.”

 

Clint grins as he gives Pietro a once over, eyes drinking in the sight of that long, hard body in a an exquisitely tailored suit. “I think we might have been set up.”

 

“Huh. Well, we were wondering how to go about telling people that we're a couple now. Maybe this is the perfect opportunity.”

 

Clint laughs. “Yeah, it means we can stop those fake fights in front of the others as well.”

 

“As long as we keep the make-up sex, it is a deal.”

 

Clint lifts his glass of wine in a toast. “It's a deal. As far as the Avengers know, this is how we got together.”

 

Their glasses clink as they settle down to order the most expensive thing on the menu. Well, Steve's paying after all, might as well make the most of it.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [Tumblr](https://pietrolovesclint.tumblr.com)


End file.
